Friday, December 30, 2005

For Art Lovers


This is Fernando Botero's "Still Life with Violin".

It's the kind of art that appreciates ten thousand times after the death of the artist.

The original of this particular piece of art now graces an office in Jalan Sultan Ismail. It's lovely to see this little glimmer of light to bring a little glow into our neck of the cultural swamp.

Who is this benefactor of the arts? None other than the chairman of MAS, our national carrier.

This man with the rare artistic soul purchased well over 1.5million MYR worth of paintings to upgrade the class of his newly renovated office. Well, when the renovation of the office alone costs 841,515 MYR, only dead man's art can do it justice.


But didn't MAS just post 368Million MYR of losses in the last quarter?


Any one would think, "What the hell, man?! 368 million??"

Why don't they just hire me on as a consultant! I'll only charge them 50k for one golden piece of advice: "Spend 50k to contract a hit on the dumb-ass running MAS, and for a mere 100k investment, MAS will save 2.3million and MORE!"


Maybe there's something in the news to say what's happening.... A search for Datuk Munir will turn up this police investigation.

Defamation? What's this email that he doesn't want people to see?

Well, look no further: MAS, the flying buffet.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Dream

You know how a song can just speak to you ?

I never, never had a dream come true
Without you, the world out there is painted shades of blue....


Here's the new Borders (3rd in Asia) that just walking distance from my apartment.

That brings the running count of bookstores within 25min walk of my house to:
2x Popular
2x MPH
1x Times
1x Borders

Life is freaking sweet....

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Malaysian Bank Base Lending Rate at 6.25%

BOOYA!!

Just got back from Melbourne from a 2wk holiday. Still trying to catch up on what I've missed here.

Naturally, the office internet took a turn for the worse the moment I left. With the absence of the Alpha Male, two computers and one notebook immediately revolted, and the users left without internet use for the entire duration I was gone...

I have a theory that even silicon has a kind of sentience, cos how else can I explain why some things will work only in my presence and then loose its will to live when I'm gone.


And I just found out that the BLR went up 0.25% last week.

This is relevant to all those who are paying for a house...

The Base Lending Rate has gone up 0.25% last week.


All those people who have consulted with me for mortgage advice... I had been advising a Fixed Rate Loan (like AIA's 5.99% Fixed).

Because our BLR of 6% was the lowest we've ever seen in M'sia for the past few decades! (Well, yea, S'pore has a BLR of 4% with most banks giving loans at BLR-1.00%... but that's a BAD sign of things to come!)

Yet most people are optimistic that interest rate can get cheaper still.

The US Federal Reserve thrashed the Fed Funds Rate to 1% to recover from the crash of technology stocks a few years ago. At the same time, real estate skyrocketed, bank borrowings increased, inflation went through the roof. And for the past 2.5 years, they've been raising rates by 0.25% every time they meet. Most anticipated that they'll stop raising at 4%, but they just went up to 4.25% yesterday.


The Malaysian BLR had been lagging & holding steady during this time, and I anticipated a rate increase before the end of this year.

And here we have it.

Loan rates have gone up, but why not the Fixed Deposit rate!? I've been putting my cash in 1mth FD, just waiting for this...



So what does a 0.25% increase mean? Assuming you're not increasing your monthly payments, it means your 30yr loan is now a 32yr loan. You're paying an extra rm14,000 on a 100k loan.


Oh, and in the last 1.5yr, my gold investment has gained more than 25%... If only I had invested more than rm250... But the roof over my head had seemed a safer investment at the time. But a rm50 profit is still a rm50 profit.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

BUNNINGS!!!

Went for a 1hr walk to a nearby shopping centre on the other side of a river.

A walk down orderly streets, along well groomed gardens. Breathing crisp fresh air. Down a rolling valley to a jogging trail alongside the bank of the Maribyrnong River. Across a sturdy cantilevered footbridge. Over fresh waters as clean as a ditch in Singapore, and just slightly murkier than Selangor tap water. Meeting an old man walking his Corgi, a man with a beagle and a snow-dog, joggers, bikers...

Houses here are low bungalows, never overly large, and diverse in design. 2 storey houses are rare. I speculate this is for heating economy. Cars are mostly kept in garages, instead of clogging up the common road like in PJ. No one fences up their property, except for privacy between neighbours. Whereas at home, even the middle class have to grill up every window, double bolt their doors, double lock the gate, and put spiky things all around the perimeter, or else jobless aliens will slash wrists, snatch purses, withdraw your assets or deposit their semen somewhere uncomfortable.

It's wonderful being able to walk down a street without keeping your guard up constantly, and to sleep with your guard down. It saddens me to think how long before we can reclaim this basic right in Malaysia...


And on that other side of the river, is a Bunning's. That's a hardware store bigger than a Tesco or a Carrefoure from KL.

I felt like Homer Simpson in Candyland...

Power tools... ***drooooool***~~~

Mitre saws, table saws, circular saws, jig saws, belt sanders, orbital sanders, routers, planers, drills, angle grinders, bench grinders, air compressors, NAIL GUNS!!!

The bigger problem is how to bring all that I desire back to KL.......

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Where's My Cow?

Popped into the city.

While my sister brought my parents on a tram-ride around the city, I was deposited in a bookstore to read Where's My Cow?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Strawberry Fields

Went up to Arthur's Seat. Just a hill-top where you can get a nice view of the country side and the bay.

And somewhere close by, there's a strawberry orchard. For an AUD$5 entry fee, you get to go in and pick yourself 500gm of strawberries.

Useful tip #1, walk to the patch that's furthest away. Logically, fewer people take the simple effort to walk that extra distance, so you get juicier ripe berries there.

Tip #2, grasp the stalk and pull. You don't want to bruise the fruit when picking it.

Tip #3, insect repellent!


Summer means bugs and flies. Swarms of irritating flies. Everywhere.

Even in the city, those flies will come and kiss your face or attempt to pollinate your nostril with something nasty. Why they do this is a mystery to me. I certainly don't smell like food.

One theory is that they keep the city too clean, there's not enough dog turd or garbage lying around to keep them occupied.

So I keep looking for one of those outback hats with the wide leather brim and the dozen or so corks hanging from short strings all around the brim. The little corks prepetually swinging like a horse's tail and keeping the bugs at bay. I would look stupid, but my nostrils will be bug-free.

Alas, no luck looking for these hats. They must look so macho that they are sold out everywhere...


Dinner was pizza.

Aussie servings are HUGE!

Even for me.

Anyway, dinner was memorable for me: a large fisherman's basket with lots of juicy calamari rings that no one else wanted to eat...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Melbourne in Summer

This is my second time in Melbourne.

The first time was several years ago, in winter. Yet somehow, I don't remember being quite so miserable the last time. 14-27 degrees Celsius isn't my idea of a summer. And there's the wind chill factor...

But cold is relative. I still got more than a fair stare of half exposed bosoms in the streets of Melbourne.


Enough with the reminescing...

Am in Melbourne this time around with my parents to attend my sis' convocation. Was going to be a nice family thing. Then four other relatives wanted to come along, since they aren't literally equipped to navigate international travel without help, and this was a rare opportunity for them. Thus it became a circus.


We wasted no time doing the touristy stuff. Started with a picnic at the Dandenong Mountains. An interesting picnic spot because of the 'wild' birds there. They've no fear of people, and will eagerly perch on your arms for sunflower seeds. Makes for interesting photos and picnic companions. But if you're not careful, they'll nibble at your macadamia cookies as well.

Monday, November 28, 2005

It's Me!bourne

Uneventful flight to Melbourne.

Many hours on plane cramped between old people.

But there's an LCD console that plays movies. Good chance to catch up on all the cool stuff that's neither worth paying to watch, nor worth the effort to download.


There's Must Love Dogs with John Cusack.

I'll invent a new metaphor for movies like this: It's like sex with a $10 prostitute.

It's a love story with a mechanical plot, just going through the motions. Boy. Girl. Dogs. Family members. Token best friends. Comic. Token love triangle. A completely unrealistic ending with the girl swimming after Cusack on a row-boat. Riiiiiight!!!


There's Initial D.

It's a movie with a plot as matured as the Manga. But some credit needs to be given to the director and cinematographer. The techniques used gave it a suitable manga feel to it, and not so overdone as Ang Lee's The Hulk.


There's The Librarian.

I'm tired at this point. Picked a movie where I didn't need to concentrate on the plot. A bookish Indiana, a downsized Lara Croft, Kelly Hu, and a bunch of bad guys who can inexplicably materialise anywhere in the world 3 seconds after the hero finds the magic artifact. Yea, the best tracker in the Amazon can track through a collapsed bridge, a waterfall and through Shangrila.


Finally, Trainman.

Supposedly, a blockbuster in Japan. Story of an Otaku -(something like a Jap version of a Trekkie, but with an anime obsession)- who meets a decent girl, and tries to woo her, with all the moral support from his other Otaku friends on IRC.

Very interesting story-telling. Was enjoying the movie up to the point when the flight attendant took away my headphones. But I could still go on with just the subtitles, until the screen blanked out when the plane was making its final approach. So I didn't quite find out what the girl says to the geek's wish to be more than friends. GAAAAAAAAA!!!

I'm hoping the program will still be there on my flight back to KL....


Arrival in Melbourne airport. 2045H local time. Bought a bunch of smokes. Greeted at the baggage claim by an adorable beagle (that's my guess, I'm not a dog person.) Navigated through their strict quarantine procedures. Managed to cart in enough stock to set up a grocer! Luckily, the instant mee, crackers, dried cuttlefish, chinese herbs etc didn't get confiscated.

Outside temperature was in the teens. And the wind-chill factor makes it really miserable. This is summer?

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Happy Birthday to me..........

...Self explanatory post...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Order of the Stick - followup

And in the newest comic,

Panel 3:
"It means my speech is all funny-sounding."


Panel 4:
"Come again?"


Panel 6:
"Can somebody please get weepy transsexual off me?"



"WEEPY TRANSSEXUAL"!!!

That word stymied me for a bit. Thought I made a mistake somewhere.

This cryptogram was considerably tougher, having fewer words to work with, first of all...


And, this comic:
Panel 1:
"Maybe you're right..."

Deduced this from context.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Order of the Stick

There's a phenomenon on the internet called web-comics.

These are comics that are published solely on the web, frequently drawn by part-time comic artists who are still testing their wings and trying to build up an audience for their work. Most try to use their web-page to generate advertising income, or print T-Shirts. Some work hard to promote their work via frequent attendance of comic conventions around the States. A few are successful enough to begin small print runs of their collected comics and mail order to loyal fans.

But there's also a massive horde of 12 yr olds who take plagiarized pictures, video game sprites, Photoshop, a generous helping of expletives, in order to express their misguided humour and share the void in their mind & soul with the unfortunate web passer-bys. Stumbling upon such compost is like being flashed by a fat bastard in the street.


But there are some gems out there. The reason that many of them are not Scott Adams is not because of their lack of talent or humour. Sometimes, their humour is a little too niche and not available to those who have little exposure to the artist's world.

Examples of these being:
Larry Leadhead - a webcomic about a guy who's into tabletop war-gaming and painting tiny lead miniatures.

Turn Signals on a Land Raider - about Warhammer 40k specifically, a popular tabletop wargame.


The few that managed to get into print:
Errant Story - an ongoing fantasy, swords & sorcery comic.

MegaTokyo - an inexplicably successful manga drawn by a gaijin. Not even that funny. There are assistants in manga sweatshops in Japan with better technique. And the 1337 5pe@k one of the characters use is just irritating. But it has gotten itself published. It appears that Japanese schoolgirls have an unusually powerful magnetic draw on adolescent psyche.


Then some with 'alternative strategies':
Chugworth Academy - has rather juvenile gags, some punchlines don't even make sense, but art-wise the artist is very talented... especially when drawing nymphettes. His last sketch of the female lead in a tennis costume went on ebay for £360.


A few rather notable ones:
Penny Arcade - a comic that speaks to geeks & gamers, lampoons popular culture, but some jokes do require a *FAIR* bit of geek-ness to catch. And some require so much geek to understand that I weep for my poor lost soul... But most times it's just two pathetic characters throwing insults at each other.

Something Positive - is a rather angsty comic, but has a strong following, mostly because there are many fans of the boneless pink cat that used to ooze into another webcomic and steal the female lead's underwear. The artist challenged his readers (who complained that he didn't update regularly enough) to donate him money, and if he receives enough to cover a year's salary, then he'll quit his job and do the comic full time. He got more than US$20,000.


But my favourite web-comic is The Order of the Stick.

It's a stick figure comics, but the cast is adorable. Some of the jokes do make references to game rules of Dungeons & Dragons, but even if you do miss some of the hilarious insider jokes, the story is still very accessible to the masses.

I'm suddenly doing a big write-up of web-comics cos of the latest strip of OOTS.

I noticed a pattern to the gibberish that Haley was spouting, and on closer examination, I see many signs that it's a simple substitution cypher.

And... I went and took the time to decode it. The capital "F" is most obviously an "I". And "rdd" is most likely to be "all". And "Xqrm?", a single word sentence ending with a "?" will most likely be "What?". And so forth....

So, here is it:

Panel 4, "Treasure!"

Panel 5, "Gone! All of it, gone!! I Can't believe it's all gone!" "I got eaten by a dragon for that freakin' treasure!"

Panel 6, "I got vomited up! By a disgusting acid-breathing dragon! And now it's GONE!"

Panel 7, "Not THE loot, MY loot. Mine!"

Panel 8, "Wait, why do I sound funny? Hello? Hello?"

Panel 10, "What? No! Don't you dare!"

Panel 11, "Sneak attack boot to the face!"

Panel 12, "Darn Straight."

Friday, November 18, 2005

Sweet, Dude!

Not one of my proudest moments...

Watched Dude, Where's My Car last night.

Silly. Stupid. But at least it harbours no delusions as to what it is.

An honestly stupid movie.

Something to fill the silence while I worked on my rambling blog on Alan Moore.

Stupid, inane dialogue using words like "hoo-hoos"...

Still, it beats dialogue like, "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and
irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here
everything's soft... and smooth..."

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Mysteries are wonders you can ponder and share. Secrets are burdens you carry alone.


When one thinks about graphic novels, most would invariably think of Neil Gaiman, Frank Miller, and Alan Moore as numbering amongst the greats. Some will say Stan Lee too, and I will agree that he has created many incredible characters, but I find his stories very disappointing. And there's the legendary Jack Kirby, who had a hand in creating the bulk of Marvel-verse, but my palate is already accustomed to contemporary styles and I find myself unable to enjoy his work within the context of the era they were created.


I started into graphic novels with Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, which pretty much turned me into a Gaiman fan-boy for life. His works need no further introductions from me, although there's always the Wiki if you need it.

After lapping up Gaiman, I discovered Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and Sin City novels.


And although I've heard of Alan Moore for a long time already, I was not as enthusiastic about him as I had with Neil or Frank. But I did read Watchmen, which is an incredible tale like no other. It is a superhero story that highlights a question that we have been begging to ask for decades, but everyone politely looks the other way: why DOES Batman and Superman wear their underwear on the outside ?

Many superheros have their origins shaped by severe psychological & emotional trauma, or tragic scientific accidents or mutations, they face solitude, ostracism, persecution, psychotic villains, irrational hatred, all the while juggling their multiple identities, their tenuous ties with humanity, challenging personal lives, conflicting moralities or egos, their greater responsibilities, inexplicable spandex/leather fetishes, exhibitionism & self-image disorders etc, it's a wonder that so few of them are barking mad.

Most of the Watchmen subtly parodies other more recognisable figures in superhero comics, but their neuroses are more apparent. It is a rather unique take on the genre.


I was reasonably impressed by Watchmen. But I didn't continue with Alan's other works cos the only other comic I was able to get hold of was his Swamp Thing series. And I'm not particularly fascinated by B-grade horror stories of a moss-covered bogey-man.

There was even a movie of the Swamp Thing in 1982, and even a TV series. They're like your typical science gone wrong, scientist murdered, turns into mass of avenging vegetation, kills murderers, rescues dames, and inserted gratuitious nudity to bolster an obviously flaccid movie.

Could I be more wrong...

Alan Moore took over Swamp Thing from issue #20 onwards, and took the comic in a grand new direction.

He rewrote the nature of the Swamp Thing, and built him into a greater story. In the course of which, Alan also created John Constantine, who has since made numerous other cross-comic appearances, have his own Hellblazer series, and even a Keanu movie.

Alan uses Swamp Thing, an unlikely 'superhero', to talk about diverse subjects and issues. Guns. Slavery. Nuclear dumping. Desecration of the environment. PMS.

Oh yeah! You heard right. PMS was addressed in a comic book. In a tale about lycantropy (that's werewolves for those of you with an, er..., innocent vocabulary), Alan expanded the theme to tell how even modern liberated women remain oppressed by society. That how little has changed since the days when native Americans confined their women to a stilted lodge during their periods so that they will not befoul the land . And lycantropy becomes a story of cursed, suppressed rage.


In the course of the series, Swamp Thing fell in love, lost his love, went to hell to bring her back, met his previous incarnation of earth elementals, went back to hell to fight Cthullu, found his love arrested in Gotham for 'Acts against nature', beat up Batman, was assassinated, travelled the cosmos, and in the last few books written by Alan, Swamp Thing returns to Earth.


It's simply amazing what Alan Moore did with a swamp monster.

Worth a read. If you can scare up all the old issues. Or if the powers that be publish a collection.

Following are some of my favourite quotes from the comic.


"Y'know what? You don't ask me to feed you, or tidy the swamp, or iron shirts, and I get fresh flowers all year round. You're just the sort of person I imagined marrying, when I was little... ...except, y'know, not green... and without all the patches of fungus."


"Evil exists only to be avenged, so that others may see what ruin comes of opposing that great voice, and cleave more wholly to its will, fearing its retribution!"


"The black soil is rich in foul decay, yet glorious life springs form it. But however dazzling, the flourishes of life in the end all decays to the same black humus. Perhaps evil is the humus formed by virtue's decay, and perhaps it is from that dark, sinister loam that virtue grows strongest."


"Me? I'm just an ordinary person with ordinary needs: food, shelter, sleep, sex, recreation, and a safe world to enjoy it all in. That's all most ordinary people want, all us poor, uncomplicated buggers. We're harmless. It's all the extraordinary people who are dangerous. The ones who wake up thinking 'Will I conquer Europe today?' instead of 'What's for breakfast?' That short needs watching."


"The suburbs, with their crew-cut lawns and nervous shrubbery."

---
'Nervous shrubbery', heh....


"All existence is purely vibrational at the most basic level. And that to explore areas beyond our own, one needs to only oscillate at other frequencies."

---S.T. on Super String Theory?!


"And having loved, she sleeps. It is a human thing, to affirm life so fiercely and so physically, surrendering the body to some ancient and vestigial pelvic brain. And, having done this, to allow all such vitality to cease. To strike a contrast. Between those red, carnal moments. And the blue, enduring coma-hours. It is a human thing."

---S.T on love. 'Vestigial pelvic brain'. What a cool phrase.---


"Remember that I am thy creature; I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel who thou drivest from joy for no misdeed. Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded."

---
Frankenstein, Mary Shelley---

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Sky Is Falling


New Disney cartoon: Chicken Little.



They're doing a Pixar style CG cartoon, where all the characters look like they're made of pastel shaded clay. Which is pretty fun to watch. The animators can take the computer model of a Charlie-Brown-headed chicken, and make it do adorable things like break-dancing or nerd-dancing (defined as a clueless, self-absorbed, one hop behind what's hip, dancing style that you often see on teen movies when anyone with glasses tries to command the dance floor.)

You can go make Chicken Little dance at his website.

Pixar's contract with Disney will expire next year, after Cars. And that's why Disney wants to have their own go at CG cartoons, to try to show up Pixar. The success of Chicken Little will have an impact on the new deal they renegotiate then, or failing which, they may just part ways.


Biggest plus point of the movie: Chicken Little is voiced by Zach Braff, ie. Dr. John Dorian from Scrubs. Who, I just found out, has a blog. Though he doesn't seem to write very regularly, being busy moving up into movies and all... WHERE'S season 5 of Scrubs!!!???


And the 'Hollywood' Chicken Little is voiced by Adam West. That's a hoot!! Yes, THE Adam West! The original 60's Batman! The success of which cursed his career forevermore cos he couldn't be casted in any other role and be taken seriously.


Anyway, the cartoon... Mainly, you just get to see Chicken Little being adorable. There's a couple of gags (guess who runs the china shop?) and the characters are all pretty cute. Plotwise, it's something like Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers. A pint-sized Indiana, an inarticulate comic-relief, an obese side-kick, a 'babe' side-kick, all having an adventure.

Nothing ground-breaking or spectacular about this cartoon. Just a good way to pass 70min of your time. And it appears that dogs form the majority of the population of Oakley. The CG team uses the same computer model and just slap different textures on it, that's all.

The ending is kinda cool though. It's a jab at how Hollywood gives everything the 'Hollywood treatment' and turns every story into a formula. But seeing the reaction of the audience, I started to see something more...

You can't blame Hollywood for every piece of crap. You can't blame them for the cliches and formula they employ in their movies. Gotta remember that they are just pandering to the lowest common denominator. If movies are getting bad, it's probably a reflection that the general populace is getting dimmer. Gotta remember that we are living in a world where a movie about an ice-berg created a sensation.


Memorable quotes:

Token gay character: "You leave Barbara out of this!"

...um... am I the only that made this connection ?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Gush! Gush! Gush!

Just "gotten hold of" a number of movies...

Several Stephen Chow classics, a new episode of Family Guy, Wallace & Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit, A Bug's Life (always a keeper), and Serenity.

Thought these were perfect movies to play in the background while I work on my DeathJack (see previous blog).

Wallace & Gromit was a fun watch. Couldn't do any painting with that. The whole point of the movie was the clay-mation, so it doesn't make sense to take my eyes off the screen for a second.

Clay bunnies are adorable.

So Wallace & Gromit are running a humane pest extermination business. They catch rabbits from the gardens of their clients, and adopt them, and feed them, instead of giving them myxomatosis and calcivirus. Then Wallace invents something. Wallace gets in trouble. Brave Gromit cleans up the mess and saves Wallace. Wallace eats some cheese.

Your typical W&G adventure. But still well done. It's great to see that there are still people out there in the business of making magic for the children. I was watching Sesame Street for many years before I noticed the metal wire that's always attached to Kermit's right arm.


Now here comes the gush....

Serenity.

...oops! Wrong link! Serenity, now!



Speechless.

It's like watching Star Wars: A New Hope, for the first time.

It's a space sci-fi that isn't CRAP!

You have Hans Solo and the Millenium Falcon and his Wookie, helping Luke rescue his sister Leia, who is wanted by the evil Empire, and hunted by a dude dressed in black.....

Sorry.... I mean, you have Captain Malcolm Reynolds, and the spaceship Serenity, and his human crew, helping Simon rescue his sister River Tam, who is wanted by the evil Alliance, and hunted by a black assassin dude.

The story is written by the guy who created Buffy. And he writes good. Now I regret never having paid any attention to Buffy before.

Serenity is a space opera with very well thought out and developed characters. It's incredible how much story was woven into the universe and each member of the crew in the short 2 hours. Even with the gratuitious space battle, and the Dark Angel/Buffy/Alias-esque super-soldier-chick-kicks-asses action.

Serenity is a really good watch. Already watching it the second time.

Next, must get Firefly.


Meanwhile, my DeathJack is still incomplete....

Friday, October 28, 2005

Current Project...

To turn

this,

into

THIS!

Gonna need a lot of luck...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Word.....

"People who are trying to decide whether to create a blog or not go through a thought process much like this:

1. The world sure needs more of ME.
2. Maybe I'll shout more often so that people nearby can experience the joy of knowing my thoughts.
3. No, wait, shouting looks too crazy.
4. I know ¨C I'll write down my daily thoughts and badger people to read them.
5. If only there was a description for this process that doesn't involve the words egomaniac or unnecessary.
6. What? It's called a blog? I'm there!

The blogger's philosophy goes something like this:

Everything that I think about is more fascinating than the crap in your head."
---Scott Adams---

Monday, October 24, 2005

Shadow of the Giant



This is the 8th of Orson Scott Card's Ender series.

1. Ender's Game
2. Speaker for the Dead
3. Xenocide
4. Children of the Mind
5. Ender's Shadow
6. Shadow of the Hegemon
7. Shadow Puppets
8. Shadow of the Giant


The first book catapulted Card into his present career. Warner Bros. has already optioned Ender's Game and Ender's Shadow. If only they can make up their mind who to use to write the screenplay. Hopefully the guys who did Troy can deliver on this soon.


Ender's Game is the story of Ender Wiggin. A child prodigy, separated from his parents, brother and sister. Taken to Battle School, a space station where the brightest children on earth are schooled in military strategies and tactics.

Earth had discovered that they are not alone. It barely survived the first wave of alien assault, and are desperately preparing themselves for the next assault.

The children are driven to compete against each other, endure harsh war games, and learn how to command. Only the very elite graduate to the final wargame, led by Ender, pitted against the war hero of the last invasion.

It's Harry Potter in space. But without the diapers.

After Ender won the war, he was unable to return to earth. Without a common enemy, the world fractured back into war, and Ender himself is a weapon of war that will be a threat to all nations but the one hosting him.

Victory rewarded with exile. And the next three books tell the story of how Ender travelled through space, and how he atoned for the genocide of an entire species.


I was hooked to Card after reading Ender's Shadow. This is the story of Bean, a child even younger, and even more brilliant than Ender, who was with Ender in the final battle. It began with the story of how he survived the streets, as a toddler, by changing the rules of the jungle into one that empowered the young and weak, while taking away the advantages of the bullies.

Later Bean played an important support role in Ender's battles. The book is a re-telling of Ender's Game through another pair of eyes, one that looked deeper than Ender ever did.

The plot is extremely well thought out, and I've been hooked ever since.

I even have a book on fiction writing by Card.

From book six onwards, the stories take place on Earth. Of how Bean and Ender's elder brother, strove to unite the war-ing nations on earth, many of which are using their Battle School children as military assets to realise their long-held delusions of divine destiny through expansionist campaigns.

In these recent books, Card has become rather vocal about what he thinks of the mess in the Middle East. No doubt coloured by the events of 9/11.


"As long as ordinary Muslims believe it's their duty to kill any Muslim who tries to quit being a Muslim, as long as they think they have a holy duty to resort to arms to compel unbelievers to obey Islamic law - you can't liberalize that, you can't make it a decent system for anybody. Not even for Muslims. Because the cruelest, narrowest, most evil people will always rise to power because they'll always be the ones most willing to wrap themselves in the crescent flag and murder people in God's name."

---from Giant of the Hegemon---


Seriously no holds barred.

But asides from little comments like these where the author vents his opinions to the readers, the rest of the book is without propaganda. The books are a good read. Card's vision and imagination makes him one of the best sci-fi writers I know.

Bean is one of the most compelling fictitious characters that I've read. Standing proudly together with Fitz Chivalry (The Farseer Trilogy, Robin Hobb), and Sam Vimes (Discworld, Terry Pratchett).

But those are stories for another day.

Saruman and Michael Jackson

...oops... I mean, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I really liked this movie. What's not to love about a movie with so many trained squirrels in it?

I just watched the 2005 version. The one with Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. But you should try to watch the 1971 version first. And perhaps try and get the novelisation of the movie too, here.


Johnny Depp is simply wonderful as Wonka. It's especially funny how Wonka went with the creepy, bleached-complexion, big dark-glasses look. Inviting children into his 'fun-land'.... How many times can you say Wackie Jackie?

Anyway, Willy Wonka is just wonderful. Less flambouyant than the '71 incarnation, more disturbed, and has more depth. Funnier too. But Gene Wilder had better lines.

The Oompa-Loompas no longer have orange skin, and finally have the African skin as Roald Dahl always intended. The new dance numbers are equally as disturbing as the original one with orange midgets. Seeing an army of identical Oompa Loompas was marvelous, in a weird kind of way. But the songs weren't as catchy as the '71.

I actually remembered watching Willy Wonka and the Chocalate Factory when I was very young. The few images I remembered best were the giant blueberry, the TV chocolate, and the Bubble Room.

They didn't bring back the Bubble Room for this one. Although curiously, they did spend a lot of effort to do the boat ride through the tunnel. But without the disturbing psychedelic montage of weird images. This is seen only in certain editions of the old movie. Kinda makes you wonder what the director was thinking when he put images of worms and chickens in a kid movie...

There's no earthly way of knowing,
which direction we are going.

Not a speck of light is showing,
So the danger must be growing,

For the rowers keep on rowing,

And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing...


And the bit with the 2001: A Space Odyssey 's Monolith music was funny. Everyone saw that coming, right? Surely I'm not the only one geek enough to watch the Stanley Kubrik sci-fi?!

Am I?

The ending is more Hollywood now. With a daddy-hug and everything. But by the time the movie has already built up a healthy credit of well-being that I easily forgave it.

Publish this, and gonna watch it for the second time now.... Just fast-forward the first 30min, the movie doesn't begin until Wonka appears.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

MirrorMask

Why isn't THIS MOVIE out yet?!

The only thing I can get on the torrent networks is the OST.

Nothing better to do in the meantime than to watch random movies like, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Grapes of Wrath and Mulholland Drive.

It's kinda cool to hear someone swear 'Sonova Bitch' in a cartoon movie. I wonder if that was intentional. It's hard to remember the days before the political correctness revolution.

And Grapes of Wrath harkens back to the days before anyone needed to spell out what's correct and what's not. Filmed in 1940, based on some great American literature. (I don't pretend to know what it's about, I kinda never got over Old Man and the Sea, and my reading selections have been geek ever since.) It's almost odd watching a film without flashy special effects, expensive CGI, blood & gore, car chases, explosions, guns (no wait, there were guns...), gratuitious sex scenes, big breasted women, over-emoting actors, etc.

It's a story of a family of farmers driven out of the dust bowl and drive to California to find work. About how tough times were during the great depression. All the actors deliver their lines with an expressionless monotone. A pity they were borned too early. Anyone of them could have been Keanu Reeves.

Can't even talk about Mulholland Drive. Almost 2hrs into it, and it's still not making sense to me. Typical David Lynch. It's all random clips and pieces that don't further the story at all. Like he's just putting to film the weird shit he dreams at night. Including the lesbian fantasy.


I'm done ranting. Back to reading Thud!, where Terry Pratchett satires the tension in the Middle East.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A hearty breakfast and other meals

Yum! Ramli burger for breakfast this morning.

Caught a nice bargain at Ikea last night.

I trawl through the AS-IS (ex-display) section every chance I get to pick up bargains. Saw a sweet, sweet suede sofa (discounted more than MYR500) for just a bit less than my monthly salary. All brand new too. Will definitely make a fine addition to my apartment. Except that I still see no reason to buy an idiot box for the living room. And without that, there's just nothing for other furnitures to center around. Unless some interior decorators will like to give suggestions.

Thus, pass on the sofa. Instead, bought a very nice frying-pan.

Platinum Teflon. Cool metal handle. Thick steel base. Big!

There's just something about a big cooking utensil with a LOT of metal that makes it superior to those cheap, thin aluminium affairs that's so common nowadays. Aluminium pans are often slightly domed in the centre, which is probably designed to take metal expansion into account, and flattens out when the pan is heated. But even then, they still aren't as flat as I would like. Grease will flow away from the centre sweet-spot, and even eggs will flow to the sides so you end up with weirdly shaped fried eggs.

Nice beautiful round eggs just aren't possible with thin aluminium pans.

Another thing with more metal, is that the pan will have a higher heat capacity. Which makes it better for pan-frying stuff. You can get the pan all nice and hot, then release all that energy into your food in a split second. That's how chinese cooking often is.

And the new frying pan is also great for cooking burger patties. And that's what I had for breakfast this morning. Greased the pan generously with Australian butter, cooked the patty, and wrapped the patty with a fried egg, then sandwiched with lightly toasted Gardenia bread.

... Good God! Just realised that a long life of single-hood is making me increasingly domesticated! Help!!...

Well, at least I'm not using copper pots like those Queer Eye guys....

Hmm... still need to get a good cast iron wok. It's not a proper CHINESE kitchen without a cast iron wok. And you won't find those at super-markets. Have bought a couple of really crappy ones. Aluminium is hopeless. Cheap steel woks machined from a sheet steel is also crap.


Moving on.....

I've finished Anansi Boys. Quite enjoyable.

If you've read American Gods, you might remember Mr. Nancy, one of the old gods fighting alongside Odin. The one who told the story about Spider stealing Tiger's balls.

Well, this is the story of Mr. Nancy's boys. About Charles Nancy's relationship with his father; going to his father's funeral; discovering his long lost brother, Spider, who monopolised all the godly magic in the family.

It's fun to read. Love the writing style.


And after this, there's Orson Scott Card to read.

After hoovering almost everything Card has written, I had left him for a while to 'fallow'. Recently found that he's writing Ultimate Iron-Man for Marvel. Which I found kinda cool. And it suddenly occured to me to go back and check on the field.

Very pleasantly surprised to find Giant of the Hegemon, AND another new book, no less.

My first introduction to Card was Ender's Shadow.

What Gaiman is to the field of 'contemporary fantasy' and mythology; Card is to science fiction. Many of his short stories are simply amazing.

Perhaps his best known book is Ender's Game. This was written ages back. And to put it in a way modern readers can identify with.... It's like Harry Potter in space. There. It's as if Harry Potter was taken to Battle School in a space station to fight aliens, instead of going to Hogwarts to fight he-who-may-not-be-named. Except that Ender grows up.

There was talk of making Ender's Game into a movie. Not sure what has come of that. Chances are, some idiot producer can't see a good idea unless he shat it out himself.

Same thing happened to Jeff Smith's Bone. Some idiot producer killed it.


Anyway, there's enough to keep myself occupied in the meanwhile...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Nuts

People who know me tend to regard me as somewhat weird. And I shouldn't pride myself on my eccentricities, but I do. I sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time pushing certain obsessions to a certain limit. (Just an inch shy of falling off the cliff into insanity, actually.)

For example, I've 'forged' my own ring. Just before Peter Jackson's screened his masterpiece, I've taken bits of broken jewellery and made a crude gold ring. Didn't have enough precious metal to make a band thick enough for anything wider than my little finger, but I was proud that I managed to get it into a good circle, without the use of proper jewellers' tools.

I've manufactured a set of lock-picks and learnt to pick small simple locks. Am far from good enough to be able to moonlight as a burglar, but it lets me get into locked desk drawers and cabinets and such. It sometimes earns me a miasma of 'cool'.

I've used water and chopped up bits of a lorry radiator to cool my computer processor, but that just makes me geek.

I own a Winsor & Newton brush, (MYR 40.00 for a few strands of 5mm long red sable hair), which totally outraged an artist friend who's still making do with chinese brushes. This is for my miniature painting, for dotting the eyes of 2in tall pewter figurines.

I have a huge collection of broken printers that I can't seem to throw away. My latest acquisition is a broken laser printer. Even if I could fix it, I doubt I can find new toner cartridges for it, so I expect that I'll most likely be ripping out the laser from this thing and possibly doing something unhealthy with it.


So you see, I'm pretty nuts.

And it's probably fortunate that I can't get my hands on more outrageous pieces of hardware to fool around with. Cos seriously, THIS is something I can see myself doing too, given the chance.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Books Books Books

There are many reasons why you should own a PDA

#1 : Shaman's Crossing, by Robin Hobb in e-book format
#2 : Anansi Boys, by Neil Gaiman in e-book format
#3 : ... and so it goes ...

I've 'earned' back the price of my Tungsten T2 by reading e-books on it.

Paperbacks generally cost MYR 30.00 in bookshops here.

To put that into relative terms...
MYR 30 is 10 plates of the cheapest chicken rice you can find in KL.
MYR 30 is almost 10% of what I usually spend on food + groceries for a month.

Thus having a 'free' source of books to assuage my addiction is fantastic.

But don't look at me like I'm a thieving pirate! The national libraries in Malaysia sucks! I went to the main library in KL almost 10 years ago and only found one Lat comic worth reading. Everything else was garbage, such as a Madonna autobiography and worse.

Yet all the books seem old and well read. My suspicion is that the administration spends their budget buying in discounted/rejected old books discarded from other libraries/publishers just to make their quota of book acquisitions. And someone is reaping the difference. Corrupted bastards.

The only national library that's any good is the one in Kota Kinabalu, built and stocked during colonial days I suspect. There, at least you can still find some Frank Herbert and James Clavell that has not gotten lost in the intervening decades. And it's also the only place I've ever seen a collection of Richard Gordon's Doctor in the House series.

I can't count on the library, so I have to get my fix elsewhere. Books that deserve my note, I will still pay for. I've always had my sis buy every Robin Hobb book as soon as it's out cos Melbourne gets them really quick. She already bought Shaman's Crossing there, and had it signed by the author when Megan (R.Hobb is a nom de plume) was doing a con there in July.

I didn't want the precious autographed book to be damaged by ham-fisted postal workers, so she's keeping the book first while I read the e-book.


And today, just half an hour ago.... I've finally gotten an electronic copy of Anansi Boys.


Happy Happy Joy Joy

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Talkies

2005 has not been a good year for movies.

Christmas won't ever be the same again without Lord of the Rings to look forward to. Even now, I have yet to watch the extended version of Return of the King. It's a reluctance to see the magic end.

In the nine months of 2005, the only contribution I had made to the film industry (theatres or pirates) was spending rm16 (twice) for Kung Fu Hustle. And that's a late 2004 film.

Some might argue that 2005 also brought us Revenge of the Sith and Batman Begins. Which I did watch, through certain means. But neither made me want to fork out rm8 to watch in the theatres. I ask for so little from movies nowadays, and I get exactly that, very little. Hitting the 'Play' button, I only ask, "Please don't disappoint me."

Not seeing Jar Jar die was a disappointment I think I can live with. The rather Force-d logic ("It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground.") was easily forgiven, since I didn't expect any better of Lucas. OMG! Even the latest episode of Gilmore Girls has Luke Danes yammering about this higher ground BS! Hilarious!

Batman Begins was alright, no more nor less than what I expected.

Then there were movies like Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo. Now this one lived up to and beyond all expectations. I anticipated a piece of shit and was rewarded with a whole cart-load of monkey faeces. It's just the kind of movie I need to fuel my self-righteous vindication of the sad state of movies nowadays.

And movies like Tsui Hark's Seven Swords (七剑)... Shit! Did I walk into that one... I shouldn't have forgotten about Double Team and Black Mask 2: City of Masks before I built up my expectations for his latest movie. In his desperate bid to win over an international audience, he decided to throw in every tired formula in the book! Add two portions of slaughter (ala Braveheart, Gladiator), raiders and farmers (Seven Samurais), seven mystical swords (stories with Excalibur-ianesque weapons are all the rage in HK comics these days), some cannons (a sad attempt to capture the desperation of the Battle of Helm's Deep), conjure two random Korean characters out of no where (he's deluded if he thinks he can get Korean viewers with such a cheap move), and that horse-Lassie scene that could only be inspired by someone whose brain has been addled by tertiary syphilis!

I hope 梁羽生 sold 七剑下天山 for a big fat bundle, cos Tsui Hark really butchered his book. Or maybe he didn't, the only thing he took from the book was the name of the characters and of one sword. Nothing else is anything like the book.


The only movie I'm looking forward to this year, is MirrorMask. Story written by Neil Gaiman, directed by Dave McKean, and produced by The Jim Henson Co. What's not to like about this film??

Written by one of the best story tellers of our time, who's already credited with The Sandman, Stardust, Neverwhere, American Gods, and Anansi Boys (just out these few days). I'm prejudiced; I'll sing praises for anything this man has touched. Except maybe the articles he wrote for certain 'gentlemen's magazines' earlier on in his career, which I doubt I can ever get hold of.

And who doesn't miss Jim Henson? Creator of The Muppets. In the days before multi-million dollars CGI was economically or technically feasible, fantasy movies were a terribly sad genre. Cheesey green screen effects just couldn't create the neccesary willing suspension of disbelief. Amongst the very few that achieved this was Labyrinth.

The one with David Bowie wearing pants so tight you can see what religion he is. The one with the 16 yr old Jennifer Connelly. Took me years to hunt up the DVD for this.


Ah well... For decent movies to watch, you really have to look back.

Heck, even watching The Wizard of Oz, was time better spent than some of the dregs we're getting this year. And here I'm talking about the Judy Garland in Technicolor affair. Ruby slippers. Munchkins. "Ding dong the witch is dead." The TinMan of the purple eye shadows. The weird googly eyes the Lion makes. The corny rhymes. The funny dances. Midget ballerinas in pink tutus. And a story of 3 misfits who start off feeling ashamed about themselves (complete with their own musical numbers), and later discovering that everything they needed was inside them all along. Talk about a coming out of the closet gay movie!!


Also watched Before Sunrise [1995] and Before Sunset [2004] recently. A somewhat interesting romance story that's quite different from the average Hollywood idea of love (ie. love can blossom even without a speeding bus to bring the characters together). Sunrise was about Ethan Hawke walking around Vienna with a Frech girl, talking about everything and anything. A simple story about two highly believeable characters forming a bond. Sunset is what happens years later, same characters, same cast.

A common story, with a common theme, but an uncommon delivery. It's mundane, it's undramatic. But that just makes the characters easier to identify with real life. Sunset gives you back the same characters, and assuming that you already know them, it lets you judge them by their actions in the intervening years.

Interesting movies when you watch them together.


But personally, Chasing Amy still tops them. This is still by far the most entertaining, and the most interesting romance movie I've ever seen. I secretly believe that one criteria with which I can spot my soul-mate, is that she will be someone who's able to appreciate and take delight in this movie as much as I have.

Back to the movie...

Chasing Amy is the third installment of Kevin Smith's New Jersey Chronicles. Kevin went to film school for a bit, then used his credit card to produce Clerks. Movie was in B&W cos that's the film he could afford. It won such acclaim that he got the money to go on to produce Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back, and Jersey Girl. Every one except the first had Ben Affleck in it. One even had Mark Hamil (the "white craker farm-boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy- blonde hair, blue eyes").

In Amy, Affleck went kinda stupid in the end, but the journey there was a lot of fun. Like Sunrise/Sunset, there's also about a bunch of characters who talk very openly about 'love' and various other pop minutiae... Be prepared for a bit of surprise though, the dialogue makes Sunrise/Sunset sound as tame as an Archie comic. But you know guys, we tend to be fascinated by disgusting things.

And I'm the kind of person who once went, "Oooo!! I get to hack this cadaver's chest open with a hack-saw! Wicked cool, dude!!"


Gee... was there a point to all this rant? Not particularly. As promised, what you're getting here is a rant from a diseased mind.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Will Work For Food

Hired myself out last weekend in a blue-collar capacity.

My pal, Moses, just bought a single-storey terrace fixer-upper. Had already spend some holidays helping him throw up the paint, desperately repairing the 'queer' colour scheme the original owner had. Seriously, there shouldn't be that much pink in the kitchen.

Now, there's a fresh coat of avocado green, peach, light lilac, light baby blue... Very pastel-y shades. No comments on my friend's selection of colours, but anything's better than gay-pink.

Now he's ready to move in and need some muscle to haul his worldly possessions. Cupboards. Beds. Mattresses. Sofas. He's not leaving anything behind at all for the old landlord. I even yanked out his water heater and ceiling fan and installed it at his new place.

My fees: Yau Char Kuai for breakfast; porridge for lunch; and a dinner with a fish course.

At dinner, Moses' mom-in-law said something that really got me...

I commented that I don't seem to be able to eat as much as I used to. I'm still the last person to finish eating at most meals, but I know I'm eating less. That's when Moses' mom-in-law said, "Deng dua hui bo liao."

Literally from Hokkien: "Long big years no more."

Meaning those years of growing tall and big are gone. I'm no longer in puberty.

The years, the years... they've gone...

          All the clocks in the city
Began to whir, and chime.
Oh, let not time deceive you,
You can not conquer time.
In headaches and in worry,
Vaguely life leaks away.
And time will have its fancy,
Tomorrow, or today.


And on the Sunday, I popped over to Nilai to collect on a debt. That's all the way over in another state.

I had spent several late nights proof-reading this friend's Masters project. Her language really needed a lot of polishing up. And for all this work, my fees was a dinner at Mantin, which is some random little town off somewhere in the middle of nowhere with hardly anything to distinguish itself.

But it was an adventure, travelling to a new place, and the food was really delicious.


Aye, it was a good weekend. A well fed squirrel is a happy one.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Six Feet Under

Didn't get much sleep last night. Was just going to watch Six Feet Under before bed, and at the end of that episode, Nate suffered a stroke. Well, I can't stop right there!! I had to watch the next episode, and the next, and the next....

Ended up sleeping at 4am.

Finished watching the series finale, after 5 seasons. Quite enjoyed the way it ended. Everybody died in the end. It seemed a very fitting ending.

First of all, a primer about Six Feet Under (SFU) for the uninitiated.

You remember American Beauty ? The Kevin Spacey movie, where his sad character's desire for the young cheerleader is depicted in a series of hallucinations, day-dreams, wet-dreams etc... The casual use of marijuana. The homophobic soldier who develops lust for the person he thought was his son's homosexual lover. The awful ironic ending where Spacey found death when he stopped searching for it. SFU is very much like that. It's even written by the same guy, what a coincidence.

Nathaniel Fisher ran a funeral home. His eldest son, Nate, ran from the family business. His second son, David, has a black boyfriend, Keith. His youngest daughter, Claire is finding her purpose in life. His wife, Ruth is having an affair with her hairdresser. A bus ran over Nathaniel and kills him. But this doesn't stop him from making regular appearances as Nate's hallucinations.

Garnish the main-course with a nymphomaniac, her bi-polar brother, her psychotic parents and up-bringing, a Latino family, a number of Claire's boyfriends, Nate's wives, Ruth's lovers, Kathy Bates, a featured corpse every week... and you have quite a cuisine.

Some people might find SFU pretentious. A lot of pot-induced cosmic insights trying to pass themselves off as philosophy. A lot of crazy characters that's just too damaged to be realistic. In real life, shit happens. But to have so much happen to one family, in such concentration, with each event timed to such perfection, a divine maestro must be orchestrating the drama.

Me, I think the writer must have broken into his therapist's files, and took out 20 of the thickest folders, and created characterts to personify each of the worst nut-jobs he found. Then, he plays god and makes up the most whacked out events to slap those characters around like a frenzied kitten batting a crippled mouse. It's merciless and mindlessly cruel.

Nate comes home, and his father is killed. He stays to help his mother to cope. Eventually he gets roped into joining the family business, which he left home to escape in the first place. He continues to see his father's ghost. The Corpse of the Week frequently sits up and talks to him. He develops a relationship with the nympho, one that is continually challenged by her appetite and her unusual relationship with her insane brother, who attempted to stab someone at one point. Just when he's getting into the swing of work, he has an AVM. He's finally going to marry the nympho, and his old girlfriend shows up with his baby. He does the right thing, and feels trapped in a marriage with a Dharma on lithium. Just as he begins to bond with his wife and daughter, 'Dharma' goes on a spiritual journey and disappears, only her car found, no body, and no closure.

All this drama and more for just one character. It's simply amazing how the cast managed to keep up.

Director: "Ok, your motivation for this scene... It's your wedding day. Everyone's happy for you. But you just miscarried your first conception yesterday. There was no anaesthesiologist on hand at the hospital to do a D&C, but you still carry on with the wedding because it's the easier thing to do compared to calling up every one of your friends and relatives to tell them over and over a hundred times that you just had a miscarriage. Your dead baby is still leaking out of you, and you're worried if it's going to stain your gown; the grandma underpants you're wearing is a constant reminder of this. Now you're having an argument with the hallucination of your husband's late-wife. Okay.... Camera!!"


Compared to this, directing a Keanu Reeves movie is a piece of cake. Of course, not counting those scenes when you actually need Keanu to smile.

Keanu's Director: "Ok. He's the bad guy. He pwns. So, look brave!"
Keanu: "Ok, I use my Cool-LookTM #47."


Anyway, moving on....

What makes SFU special is the way the writer uses hallucinations and day-dreams to emote the suppressed emotions that is happening under the character's skin. It is an interesting way of using the medium to tell a deeper story. Not every emotion can be acted out. Some passions are so overwhelming that they paralyse all actions and facial expressions.

Getting to know the characters from inside their heads, is like reading The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Bridget Jones' Diary, or The Catcher In The Rye. It may be hard to explain unless you've actually read any of these books....


I also found the series to be really educational. If not for one of the Corpse of the Week, I don't think I'ld ever have known what a Prince Albert is... (Try to read the following words without cringing: "Piercing", "Penile", "Urethra", "Stretching". Oh, and please don't click on the Prince Albert link if you've got sensitive eyes... You are warned.)


The entire series has a morbid tone. But there are some hilarious moments. The way the corpse of the week is presented is always more fun than Bart Simpson's blackboard scrawls. The writer loves irony.

The situations and events the characters find themselves in sometimes are just completely impossible, yet somehow their pain and psychoses really flesh out the characters.

The dialogue is also one of a kind. Some notable quotes such as:

"What is this, some kind of Quaker thing? You f*ck someone's husband to death, and then you bring them a quiche?"

"You were the one we thought we could lose. What with AIDS, and picking up strange men from the side of the road. Screwing a whore with no condom. You know, that sort of thing. You've been begging for annihilation your entire life."


The fifth season makes following the series all worth while. The way the characters change and develop. The last few episodes gave the show excellent closure.

Everybody died.

It's wonderful.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The First Post

First I tried to get nuts.blogspot.com, to match my website at http://nuts.freeservers.com, but apparently that's been taken. Thus I had to try various combinations of synonyms for madness before I finally got InsaneSquirrel.blogspot.com.

I couldn't believe RabidSquirrel had already been taken.

But InsaneSquirrel works fine I guess. For the reason why I have this 'squirrel thing', there's some sparse introduction on my website, which has not been updated since the time I registered that domain.

More than a few friends started up their own blogs and asked me where's mine. Well, I already have my own outlet to vent my steam, venomous rants, creative ramblings, cosmic insights, cynical observations, movie & book reviews etc. She is a treasure, but I'm thinking maybe I've been abusing her ears for too long already, and that I should try to dilute my poison amongst a greater audience here.

Or maybe I'm just a self-important megalomaniac who believes that his words can make the world the richer for it.

But I for one am partial to another theory: that hidden in the darkest recesses, in the deepest roots of my brain, there is an insane squirrel valiantly defending my sanity from an evil serpent bent on corroding my mind with unspeakable evil. And he must be given a voice.

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